Self Pleasure

“Wherefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 ASV

I was so excited when I dedicated my life to Christ a few years ago to fully walk as a new creature. As most new followers of Christ we all struggle with weaknesses that are hard to let go of and are excited when we overcome the tempting spirits. My tempting spirit was sex.

Before Christ

Before having a relationship with Christ, I would stay in unhealthy relationships far too long because I enjoyed sex. Can you imagine how overjoyed I was to get rid of those relationships! I even made a vow to stay pure until marriage. Although I wasn’t having sexual intercourse with a man I would still engage in self pleasure. When engaging in the act a spirit of conviction would come upon me but I never stopped because I would tell myself, “There was no scripture in the Bible that says masturbation is a sin so what’s the harm?” So for years I kept self pleasing and feeling convicted but the conviction never stopped me. I even told myself why stop it’s not like I’m hurting anyone?

My turning point

I like to have date nights with God so that our relationship is genuine , it’s like I am getting to know a man that already knows me and loves me despite my flaws. This one particular night God ask me did I love him? This took me by surprise because I love God more than words can explain, but I responded yes. Then God ask me again do you love me? I began to cry and I said Yes Lord I love you! Then God ask then why do hurt me? I was baffled not sure what I may have done to hurt God. “My child the old things are to be passed away but yet you want let this go. Aren’t you sick of pleasing flesh? You say your heart belongs to me but every time the Holy Spirit speaks to you before acting you never listen. How do you love me but keep pleasing yourself first?”

After Christ

I cried that night because I knew the honeymoon phase was over and God wanted all of me. I looked up the word masturbation and it means to stimulate one’s own genitals for sexual pleasure, key words:own & pleasure. I’m still thinking of self and pleasing myself when I continue to engage in self pleasure. Becoming a new creature in Christ is not just by my own understanding it’s by anyway God sees fit.

Scripture says: “But she that giveth herself to pleasure is dead while she liveth.”
1 Timothy 5:6 ASV
God wants me to die to self pleasing all together! It is not just sexual pleasure it is financial (skipping tithes) spiritual (oh I will go to church next Sunday God knows my heart) emotional (why do I have to keep waiting I’m tired of waiting God) and anything of the world that doesn’t allow us to become new!


What self pleasure are you engaging in that God wants you to let go of? Everything does not have to make logical sense for you to be obedient to Christ. Seek what God wants to replace and let him rid you of any worldly pleasures that are not pleasurable to him.

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
1 John 2:15 ASV

Live.Life.Lessons ❤️


It All Started When…..

It All Started When…..

In the beginning God created love and his intentions were pure. He designed man and woman to create, be fruitful and multiply.

Where did the confusion start?

It started for me with sex. If God intended for sex to be pure and a good thing, then is sex a sin? No! Sex is not a sin it was created by God for man and women in MARRIAGE to enjoy, come together as one body, reproduce (offspring) and worship Christ through it all.

Is sex before marriage a sin? Yes. Sex is a divine gift to a marriage in which souls intertwine and become one. So when we “Give it Up” to a person outside of marriage a soul tie manifests and creates  a crack in the doorways of our minds for confusion.

When did the confusion manifest?

At the age of 15, I was not just hanging out with my girlfriends, I was openly dating. At that age I could not really define what dating was but I knew what it meant to me. I thought sex was love and if dating involved sex then I was in because ultimately love is what I desired. The first time was a horrible, just horrible experience, but that didn’t turn me completely off. Instead I made the next guy wait until I was completely ready. We did not engage in the act of sex for almost a year. But we did other things (still a sin). I thought I had something good because he did not press me for sex not once. Now I’m not saying our relationship was perfect because it wasn’t by no means (especially because we were teenagers), but I lost myself in this relationship. So lost that we tied the knot. Ours souls tied the knot and created an offspring. I became a teenage mother at the age of 18, and still I was not fulfilled.

After that experience, I Lost myself out of the relationship. The thought of it was good enough and THE WAIT” was thrown out of the window for me. I was lost, broken, insecure and confused so I never required men to wait. Sex the STARTING point yet, Love was not the end result. I used my body as an example of love when that should have been the sacrifice for love. Before I knew Christ I was just a walking ticking suicidal bomber that fought hard for a cause (LOVE). My body, the bomb, went off when I thought I reached my target (love) and that was worth dying for (sexual sin).

Then I met Jesus……….

On a Thursday night in 2011 to be exact, I stepped inside of a church for bible study for the first time. This first time was not like my first sexual encounter. The moment I walked into the church, love was around me and poured into me. This first time experiencing Jesus changed my life forever. It changed my way of thinking and my views of life altogether. In that moment I did not just know of God, but I got to meet him and start a relationship with him through Jesus. Through this experience I learned……

I learned the value of my worth: Luke 12:7  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Donʼt be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

 I learned the true beauty in sex : 1 Corinthians 6:19  What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

I learned the meaning of love 1 Corinthians 13:4   Love is patientlove is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud

Most importantly, I learned the meaning of sacrifice Ephesians 5:2  and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God

How was I delivered?

Deliverance comes from God not man. So when you are confused and seeking answers to your situation and want to know where did it all start, let God run deep through your past search your soul and pin point the when, where, and how.

The next time you say “it all started with” remember the beginning starts with the word of God and you can finally have the answers that you seek when you start a relationship with God.

 John 1:1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

Finding Yourself

Finding Yourself

How do you define yourself? Can you truly answer that question without hesitation? I thought I knew the answer to this question until recently because finding yourself is hard to do.

when you thought you knew who you were in the first place. It took me a while to truly find myself and here is why…  I felt like I was missing something and the first word that came to mind was insecure. When I hear the word insecurity I think of:

“uncertain or anxiety about oneself ;lack of confidence”.

Lack of confidence was the one line that stuck out to me because I thought in order to have confidence you had to look a certain way; had to have certain accomplishments, and had to speak  a certain way until I allowed God to enter and he showed me the right definition to describe insecurity for myself:

    “it’s the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection” .

Synonyms to describe insecurity were unstable, rocky, shaky , unsteady. Being insecure caused me to continue to be in open danger for the devil and continue to pull myself out of Gods protection because I kept filling my head with lies. I begin to notice some ways that described insecurities in my life. I was unstable financially, rocky with my choices, shaky in relationships,  and unsteady with my beliefs until I got into the presence of God. Getting in his presence allows me to see that he never left me but he was waiting for me to get out of my natural self and into my spiritual self. Once I shifted I finally found myself. I see myself differently because I am finally in a secure place under God.

2 Samuel 22:30-33 says:

 “With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.

   As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?

  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.”

This was David song to the Lord when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies. When the Lord delivered me from my enemies he changed me. God changed my mind, my heart, my ways, and my sight so now  I am able to see myself in his image. I have found myself in him. My question to you is what are you trying to find?

If you are trying to find your purpose in life, your calling, or just looking for that missing piece to your puzzle, when you allow yourself to shift in God things will become clearer. Allow yourself to get into his presence and change who you are. He know what you are in need of before you ask. The best answer you could ever receive is from God. So get into your higher place under God. He will meet you there and perfect everything that is concerning you. Live.Life.Lessons my loves! Be blessed